At the end of 2018, I was tapped out. I found myself floundering to implement a good meditation practice and I was working unproductively and at an exhaustive rate. I was not engaged in communication and would become easily irritated at the slightest inconvenience. In my work, I was multitasking at the level of not doing anything well. When I would have a meeting to attend, I often would arrive late or skip it all together because I felt it was not important or because what I was working on prior to going to the meeting wasn’t at a good stopping point. I would half-listen to students and colleagues as the other part of my mind contemplated other issues or concerns. I wasn’t being my best self.
I had always wanted to attend the Fearlessly Creative workshop with Susan Piver hosted at the Shambala Mountain Center in Colorado. When I realized the week of finals at the University where I work created a small window for some time away, I booked myself for this retreat five days before it started in a moment of spontaneity. This was one of the best decisions I could have made at that point in time.
Attending this workshop allowed me to decompress, connect with myself and get my meditation practice back on track. I was able to learn some great techniques and be more disciplined with my writing. Being out in nature and feeling the sacredness of the Shambala center as well as the kindness and loving atmosphere of the community filled my soul up again and I was re-energized.
While at the retreat, I met many other writers and meditators, some more experienced than others. About half of the group spoke about writing memoirs. I had planned to work on a young-adult fiction book I had started many years earlier. However, I began thinking a lot about memoirs and why I would write about my life. I came to the conclusion that the only reason I would do this is to share my story with my children. Deciding to take a stab at it, I found it difficult. Writing about myself made me feel guilty. On the first afternoon of our retreat during a check in, I shared this writer’s block issue with the group. It was somewhat comforting to learn that several of the other writers also had this odd feeling when writing about themselves. Susan guided us to change our perspective and write in third person.
Doing this was a game-changer for me. I started thinking about myself in a different way, almost from the outside looking in. I began thinking about things that really inspire me and one of them is a painting from an amazing artist-friend, Mary Vaughan titled RE-turn. It is actually the painting you see in the background of the site. She wrote a lovely note to go with the painting about Rejuvenate, Restore, Recycle… this inspired me to think of all the words beginning with RE.
With this thread of creativity, I began writing Remember, my first memoir essay. I got really excited thinking about how I could expand this effort and write many pieces of my history prompted by words that start with RE. In my true fashion, I contemplated this while wondering if I could create an online community to share with others and invite all kinds of writers to do the same. I decided to give it a try and will hopefully accomplish both, so here we are.